Don’t you hate being woken up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall back asleep? It always happens at the worst possible moment. Then again, is there ever a good time to lose sleep? Probably not. I’d like to speak to the manager of sleep, because the scheduling department is clearly broken.
I’ve had periods of insomnia before. A whole week of waking up at 3-ish a.m. and staring at the ceiling like it owed me money. But that’s not today’s topic. Today we’re talking about the kind where something wakes you up. A person. A pet. Or, in my case, a surge protector that is supposed to be saving me power and has instead started clicking in the middle of the night like a tiny, passive-aggressive woodpecker with a grudge.
It’s 1:20 a.m. I went to bed at 10:30. That’s roughly three hours of sleep. Definitely not enough for me to be done for the night.
So what do you do? Glad you asked. I’ve been lying here for a while, so I’ve had time to think.
Step 1: Stop looking at the clock
I know. You already looked. You looked three times, and you’re about to look again. But every glance kicks off the sleep math: “If I fall asleep right now, I can still get five hours. Okay, four and a half. Okay, if I’m out in the next ten minutes, I’ll be fine.”
Congratulations, you’re now a night-shift accountant, and your brain has clocked in for overtime.
Turn the clock away. You don’t need another update.
Step 2: Deal with the thing that woke you up
If it’s a clicking surge protector, deal with it if you can safely do so. Lying there hoping it stops seems reasonable until you realize you’re now listening for the next click.
Click.
Maybe that was the last one.
Click.
Apparently not.
If it’s a person, hopefully they settle back down. If it’s a dog, investigate what they need. Although if Hugo just wants more of the bed, I’m not sure there’s enough bed in the world.
Step 3: Keep the lights low
If you need to get up, use just enough light to move around safely. Leave the phone alone if you can, and resist the temptation to scroll.
Checking one thing is rarely checking one thing. Suddenly you’re looking at someone’s vacation photos, and your brain has a whole new set of things to think about.
Nobody needs to see Karen’s brunch at 1:30 a.m. Karen is thriving. Karen is probably asleep.
Step 4: Know when to take a break from trying
If you’ve been awake for roughly 20 minutes and you’re getting frustrated, get out of bed for a little while. No need to check the clock. An estimate is fine.
Read a few pages of a book or listen to something quiet in dim light. Return to bed when you feel sleepy.
The idea is to keep your bed associated with sleep, instead of the place where you lie awake getting increasingly annoyed about not sleeping.
Step 5: Give your brain something quieter to do
Your brain at 1:20 a.m. can have so much to say. Tomorrow’s to-do list. Something awkward you said years ago. A problem you cannot possibly solve from underneath a duvet.
Try slow, comfortable breathing. Or do a gentle body scan, noticing and relaxing your toes, legs, shoulders and face. There’s no need to do it perfectly. That would just be another thing to think about.
If you keep rehearsing tomorrow’s tasks, jot them down on paper. They can wait there until morning.
Step 6: Be nice to yourself
Being annoyed that you’re awake is understandable. Being annoyed at yourself for being awake probably isn’t helping.
These are things to try, not another checklist you have to succeed at. If one doesn’t help, you haven’t failed at sleeping.
Tomorrow, try to keep your usual routine, get some daylight, and resist the urge to move bedtime all the way up to 6 p.m. One rough night doesn’t mean the next one will be the same.
So, is there ever a good time to lose sleep? No. Absolutely not. But at 1:20 a.m., you can at least make yourself comfortable, deal with the disturbance, and give sleep a chance to return.
And if all else fails, you now have a blog post, a silent room, and the smug satisfaction of having won a war against a power strip.
Click.
…okay, there must be a second one. I’ll be right back.