B r a i n C l e a r

Sorting through life one thought at a time

Category: Reflections

  • Patriotism as an Expat

    Thinking about patriotism today on Americas birthday.

    Living here has made me think about it in a way I never really did growing up in Sweden.

    If Sweden whispers, “We’re proud to be Swedish,” America says it with a microphone. Sometimes I joke that Americans want to make sure you never forget what country you’re in and all those flags certainly help.

    The funny thing is, I don’t think Swedes are any less proud of their country.

    We just seem to show it differently.

    I’ve often wondered if part of the reason is that loud national pride can feel uncomfortable. There seems to be a quiet awareness that celebrating “us” too loudly can start to sound like excluding “them.”

    You see it when Sweden plays in the World Cup or the Olympics. Suddenly the blue and yellow flags appear, everyone is glued to the TV, and strangers celebrate together.

    One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that many Swedes seem to become even more patriotic after moving abroad.

    When you grow up in Sweden, Midsummer, Lucia, crayfish parties, cinnamon buns, and those long summer nights when the sun barely sets and you’re complaining because you need blackout curtains just to sleep, are simply everyday life.

    You don’t think much about them because they’ve always been there.

    Then you move away.

    Suddenly you’re explaining Lucia to your American friends. You’re driving across town to find Swedish candy. You get excited when you hear someone speaking Swedish in the grocery store. You celebrate Swedish traditions with a handful of other Swedes, trying to recreate a little piece of home.

    Even IKEA becomes more than a furniture store, and H&M becomes more than a clothing store. They become little pieces of home.

    It’s interesting how distance can make you appreciate things you once took for granted.

    Maybe that’s one of the unexpected gifts of living abroad you don’t just discover a new country, you rediscover your own. 🇸🇪

  • Don’t Believe Everything That You Think

    There are times when my mind becomes my own worst storyteller.

    If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably replayed a conversation over and over, wondering why someone said something, why they did something, or whether you missed a hidden meaning. I know I do, especially when I’m feeling anxious or uncertain.

    A simple comment can turn into an entire story in my head. Before I know it, I’ve connected dots that may not even exist, assigning motives and meanings without any real evidence. Hours later, I’m mentally exhausted over something that may have been completely insignificant.

    I’ve realized that anxiety has a way of doing that. It tries to protect us by filling in the blanks, but it often fills them with fear, insecurity, or worst-case scenarios. The story can feel incredibly real, even when it’s based on very little.

    That’s why one quote has stayed with me:

    “Don’t believe everything you think.”

    I first came across it in the Swedish book Du kan ha fel (You Could Be Wrong) by Björn Natthiko Lindeblad. To me, the quote isn’t about dismissing our thoughts or pretending our feelings don’t matter. It’s a reminder that thoughts are not facts.

    When anxiety takes over, a delayed text becomes rejection. A short answer becomes anger. A forgotten comment becomes proof that something is wrong. Before long, we’ve created an entire story without realizing that’s exactly what we’ve done.

    I’ve certainly done that.

    The quote reminds me to pause and ask myself, “Do I actually know this to be true, or is this my anxious mind filling in the blanks?”

    Sometimes my first interpretation isn’t the right one. Sometimes the story I’ve created exists only in my own mind.

    After all, thoughts are just thoughts. We don’t have to believe every single one of them. We get to choose which ones deserve our attention.     

  • The Tiny Seed Knew

    The Tiny Seed Knew

    “The tiny seed knew that in order to grow, it needed to be dropped in dirt, covered in darkness and struggle to reach the light.”  

  • A – B – C – D ‘s of getting out of your mind

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    We all go through challenging times in life when you really feel like you are never going to be able to move on and feel better.

    This is a trick for a too busy mind, when feeling down in the dumps.

    A – Acknowledge

    Accept that you are feeling down and that it’s OK!

    B – Breathe

    Sometimes when we are going through hard times we forget to breathe, taking a few calming breaths will automatically bring you back to the present moment.

    C – Curious

    Be eager to learn about why you are feeling this way?

    D – Distract

    Get busy doing things that will keep you in the middle meaning not going down to on the negative side. When you are having a hard time being positive is usually pretty impossible and we tend to head towards the dumps where everything is dark. Distract your self to stay as much as possible in the neutral space.

    For me things like working out, binge watching my favorite Netflix show and working ( I love my job) works. I really have to make an effort to not have too much free time while I go through hard times. Not to run away from them I am just temporarily moving them back to a place because I might need them later in life. Just so I can have a little Middle time and gain some energy for life.

    This is how I picture it so when I say staying in the neutral place I am meaning to stay in the middle of your emotional state.

     NEUTRAL IS OK!! 

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    Photo by Mikes Photos on Pexels.com