B r a i n C l e a r

Sorting through life one thought at a time

Tag: Observations

  • An Update From the Spider HOA

    Yesterday I cleared a few spiderwebs off the patio up in the north GA mountains.

    For the record, I have nothing against spiders. They’re good to have around, they eat bugs, they build genuinely impressive webs, they mind their business. I only asked one thing:

    Please don’t build across the spots where I walk.

    Cool, well, that request got denied.

    This morning several webs were already back up. Overnight. No permits, no contractors, nothing. Just fully rebuilt structures like it was nothing. Mildly impressive honestly. One even had a tiny spider chilling in it, so I guess they’re doing affordable housing now too.

    Tried to get a picture but the green background, my phone refusing to focus on an actual spider, and my frenchie barking at me the entire time made it basically impossible to document.

    So here’s where the Spider HOA and I landed:

    You can stay. Eat the bugs. Build your webs, I respect the craftsmanship.

    But if it crosses into my walking path, I’m knocking it down, no notice.

    We’ll see what they’ve got tonight 😂

  • What Your Dishwasher Says About You

    There are many ways to load a dishwasher. Only some of them should be legal.

    Forget astrology.

    Forget personality tests.

    If you really want to know someone, ask them to load the dishwasher.

    The Architect

    Every plate faces the same direction.

    Bowls are perfectly spaced.

    Nothing blocks the spray arms.

    This person has quietly reloaded the dishwasher after someone else walked away.

    The Optimist

    “One more plate will fit.”

    It won’t.

    But hope springs eternal.

    The Dishwasher Believer

    Places an entire plate of dried cheese, salsa and yesterday’s casserole directly into the dishwasher.

    Has complete faith that modern technology can overcome the laws of physics.

    The Chaos Artist

    There is no system.

    Large bowls covering small bowls.

    Plastic balanced on glass.

    A frying pan somehow occupies 40% of the dishwasher.

    When asked why they loaded it this way, they simply shrug.

    The Silent Corrector

    Says absolutely nothing.

    Waits until everyone leaves the kitchen.

    Quietly opens the dishwasher.

    Turns the plates around.

    Moves the bowls.

    Rinses the dried cheese.

    Closes the dishwasher.

    Never mentions it again.

    Until now.

    So…

    Which one are you?