In the past couple of days, the idea of connection has been on my mind.
A close friend told me that after taking a DNA test, he discovered that his ancestry traced back to Nigeria, specifically to the Igbo people. Since then, he has embraced that part of his heritage and sometimes uses it as a way to connect with new colleagues at work. For him, it’s a way to let someone know they’re not alone, that there’s another person who might understand what it’s like to sometimes be the only one in the room who looks different, and that they, too, have every opportunity to grow and become everything they dream of.
My first reaction was:
Yes, but you’ve never been to Nigeria. Your parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents were all born in the United States. You can say your heritage is Nigerian, but are you Nigerian?
I think that way because I’ve experienced the opposite.
When I go to Swedish events, I often meet people who introduce themselves as Swedish because a great-grandparent emigrated to America. They’ve never been to Sweden. They don’t speak Swedish. In my mind, I’ve always thought of them as Americans with Swedish heritage rather than Swedes.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized maybe I was looking at it from the wrong angle.
After all, it’s kind of sweet.
We’re all looking for something that makes the world feel a little smaller. We look for common ground, an opening to start a conversation, the possibility of a new friendship, and the reassurance that we’re not alone.
Yesterday I wandered through H&M, and for a moment it felt like the comfort of home. I go to Swedish events because I enjoy speaking my language and sharing traditions. And when I meet another European, especially another Scandinavian, there’s an immediate familiarity. We may come from different countries, but there’s an unspoken understanding that we grew up on the same side of the world.
Might that be what connection is all about?
It doesn’t have to be nationality.
Sometimes it’s as simple as being the only two women in a room or us both having dogs. I do this all the time. If I meet another dog owner, especially someone with the same breed as mine, we instantly have something to talk about. We compare food brands, swap funny stories, show each other pictures, and somehow complete strangers become people we’ve connected with, even if it’s only for a brief moment.
I’ve even noticed that dogs seem to do something similar. They get excited to meet other dogs in general, but they also seem to recognize their own breed.
I think we’re all just looking for that sense of belonging.
Brain clear 